There is no always forever... just this...

Purple Hair

2005-11-14T15:38:00.000Z

Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional.You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

Kierkegaard Quote for 10/11/2005

2005-11-10T16:57:00.000Z

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil, no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.

The Cat

2005-11-07T16:25:00.000Z

"Why don't you bring the cat along? He spends so much time on his own..." he asked yesterday.
"Why shouldn't I? That's what I wanted, right?" I thought and so I took him along...
What is supposed to come next?

I am scared things won't work out...

Which John Cusack Are You?

2005-11-04T12:37:00.000Z

Which John Cusack Are You?

Kierkegaard Quote for 27/10/2005

2005-10-27T15:06:00.000+01:00

What is a poet?
An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music.

They're back

2005-10-25T17:48:00.000+01:00

It's today...once again.
I know it won't be as good as it has been before, but still I feel I should go.:)

Every time I think of you it's like the last beat of my heart
The memory of leaving you is tearing me apart
No waves no tears no backward glance
But I'll always hold you dear
Never regret but I'll never forget
'Cos there's not enough heaven here

Hands across the ocean, reaching out for you
Across the waves, across the water
Hands, across the ocean

And every time I'm missing you I just can't let it show
And every time I want to cry I just can't let it go
all wine and song and masquerade and refuge holds me dear
Ribbons and lace and daisy chains
But there's not enough heaven here

Hands across the ocean, reaching out for you
Across the waves, across the water, reaching out for you
Hands across the ocean, reaching out for you
Across the waves, across the water
Hands, across the ocean

Bangles beads and lipstick games
And comfort holds me dear
Velvet and lace and perfumed sheets
But there's not enough heaven
Not enough heaven here

Hands across the ocean, reaching out for you
Across the waves, across the water, reaching out for you
Hands across the ocean, reaching out for you
Across the waves, across the water
Hands, across the ocean

How's Your Taste in Music?

2005-08-03T10:44:00.000+01:00

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: Highest Influence

80's Pop: High Influence

90's Alternative: Medium Influence

Adult Alternative: Low Influence

Dance: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

You, the only sense the world has ever made

2005-08-01T16:22:00.000+01:00

It has been a year now and I am dedicating this to you.
I just hope you are as happy as I am.
I love you.

Last of the men in hats hops off the coil
And a final scene unfolds inside
Deep in the rain of sparks behind his brow
Is a part replayed from a perfect day
Teaching her how to whistle like a boy
Love's first blush

Chorus
Is this making sense?
What am I trying to say?
Early evening June
This room and a radio play
This I need to save
I choose my final thoughts today
Switching off with you

All the clocks give in
And the traffic fades
And the insects like a neon choir
The instant fizz
Connection made
And the curtains sigh
In time
With you

Chorus 2
You, the only sense the world has ever made
Early evening June
This room and radio play
This I need to save
I choose my final scene today
Switching off

Ran to ground for a while there
But I came off pretty well

Chorus 3
You, the only sense the world has ever made
This I need to save
A simple trinket locked away
I choose my final scene today
Switching off with you

Elbow - Switching Off

Come Undone

2005-05-25T15:28:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went to see Duran Duran with my mate for the first time in my life.
Great concert, the guys still rule.
Felt very very nostalgic and sad...I couldn't feel as happy as other people did...just the thought of 23 years having passed since they last toured Portugal made me think how quick time passes by without us noticing it.
The ageing process terrifies me.

They played all their hits (almost)...from Girls on Film to Planet Earth, just name it!:)
It was worth it.

Boys, what took you so long?

Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin
I've been waiting for you
Signed with a home tattoo,
Happy birthday to you was created for you

Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can't I believe you're taking my heart
To pieces

Oh, it'll take a little time,
Might take a little crime
To come undone now

We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry...

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone?

Words, playing me deja vu,
Like a radio tune
I swear I've heard before
Chill, is it something real
Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers

Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can I believe you're taking my heart
To pieces

Lost, in a snow filled sky we'll make it alright
To come undone now...

Wishing

2005-05-20T17:42:00.000+01:00

Feeling so anxious and afraid of the future.
Afraid that bad things will happen to me and not being able to react, to fight.
I have never been much of a fighter; I go down very easily.
I am down. I used to be happy on Fridays, but I don't feel that way anymore.
We used to go out, drink, dance, laugh, have fun...those days seem so far away...

Sometimes I wish I was someone else. I wish I had a more interesting life. When I read other people's blogs, they seem to lead such a fascinating life...I found a journal from a girl living in Denmark and it's so stupid, but I wish I had her life. Even with her panic attacks and anxieties, everything about her seems so interesting and glamourous...her social life, the places she goes to...
I know no one can live my life for me...I just wish I were happier, that's all...

I wish I were an artist. A writer or maybe a painter. I wish I was adored and loved.
Maybe I am, but lately I haven't felt like that.

My therapist told me that I have got an artist's soul. So why the hell can't I create anything? The only thing I do is feel, think, feel, think, feel, think...it is soooo tiring it hurts.

Back. I hope...

2005-05-19T17:30:00.000+01:00

I have been away for soooo long...
I wish I could write every day.
I think a lot and feel too much, but it is very difficult for me to put all my emotions into words.
I am too lazy and definitely not disciplined enough to keep a blog.

I will give myself a second chance...

Mesmerized

2004-12-14T17:07:00.000Z

Dedicated to R.

I wanna feel again the thrill of the first kiss
I’ve never wanted anything more than this
I wanna feel again the blinding sheer delight
My senses scorched desire that flames so bright

I’m mesmerized hypnotized by you
I’m mesmerized so beguiled by you
I’m mesmerized by you

There’s too many years and an ocean between us
And in the eyes of the world I’m scorned as a libertine
But you are my muse you are my Venus
And I watch move devotion comes serene

I’m mesmerized hypnotized by you
I’m mesmerized so beguiled by you
I’m mesmerized by you and your sea green eyes
One glance and I’m mesmerized
Entrance and I’m hypnotize by you
You mesmerized me

With just the promise of a kiss I’m enrapture
I wanna feel you touch you hold you and caress you
Within this moment of bliss I’m encaptured
I wanna ravish you thrill you enchant you and possess you

I’m mesmerized hypnotized by you
I’m mesmerized so beguiled by you, beguiled by you
I’m mesmerized hypnotized by you
I’m mesmerized so beguiled by you
I’m mesmerized by you

The Mission

P.S. I can still feel the thrill of the first kiss!*

Tired

2004-11-30T17:09:00.000Z

I feel so tired...
I wish I could hibernate just like bears do and sleep all winter.
I am happy I can sleep late tomorrow and not having to go to work...boring job, brainless stupid job...
My mood sucks today.:(

The Seven Ages Of Man

2004-11-25T17:02:00.000Z

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then, the whiling schoolboy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Madew to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then, the justice
In fair round belly, with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part.

Poem lyrics of Seven Ages Of Man by William Shakespeare

Weekend is approaching

2004-11-19T16:54:00.000Z

It´s Friday at last and yes like Robert says "I´m in love!"

I always feel good on Fridays (well, maybe not always)...weekend is approaching and I have got plenty of time to spend with my mate and with my babe.
My mate and I might not go out tomorrow as the last nights were not THAT great; maybe it was the music and the people who were there or maybe we are tired of the routine...or we are simply getting old.
I think it´s everything together...

We were supposed to go to the pub after work...Black Celebration...but she hasn´t say anything yet, so I might go to the cinema with Alex to watch The Forgotten starring the beautiful and talented Julianne Moore.
No, I am not a lesbo but I wouldn´t mind...you know...this and that...;)

Two more hours to go and then...only god knows!;)

Bla Bla Bla

2004-11-18T12:19:00.000Z

It has been over a week now since I have posted something here.
I knew it.
Now it has been a week and then it will start to become two weeks...one month...and finally I will get bored and won´t write anything anymore.

It´s easier to write in satine´s blog, to post stupid comments and make silly jokes!
She always thinks I am funny ant laughs at the things I say.
I don´t know if that´s a good sign...maybe I am not THAT funny after all and she laughs only to make me feel better!;)

Yesterday I went with my mate satine to the sex shop and bought a couple of things to play with my babe...ropes, handcuffs and some kind of clips for the nipples.
I should have bought the other clips, the ones I have bought hurt too much! Not good, not good!
But the ropes are lovely...purple! Love the colour!
I think I will try them tonight or maybe during the weekend. *giggles*

Anyway, I feel cool with Alex again...last week was a pretty weird week. Nothing bad happened between us, but I felt as if we were miles and miles apart.
I feel him closer now and that´s a nice and warm feeling.
I love him. What can I say?:)

Which Song By The Cure Are You?

2004-11-10T12:50:00.000Z

A Letter to Elise - You're in love, but out of a
relationship. You knew it was going to end, but
you held on. Or...you're in love but not loved
in return.

I don´t get it...I am in love and I am loved in return! So here for you!!!:P

Which Song By The Cure Are You?

Gorgeous

2004-11-09T16:52:00.000Z

Gorgeous

What a man, what a talent!

Rammstein

2004-11-09T16:32:00.000Z

Tonight is the night!
Although I am not a fan, I think they are ok...their music is good (sometimes a tad bit heavy for me!) and the lyrics are great and funny!;)
I am going because my best mate is going and I didn´t know what to do with the money, so I decided to spend it on a concert!:)
At least we will be doing something different on a Tuesday night.
I am a sag and I hate routine...routine will be the death of my beautiful soul if I don´t fight it. LOL
Now, seriously...I am happy we will be doing something different tonight.
I will keep you posted about the concert tomorrow, but the review might differ slightly from velvetsatine´s review. hehe!

I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone

2004-11-08T17:32:00.000Z

I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone
enough
to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world, yet not small
enough
to be to you just object and thing,
dark and smart.
I want my free will and want it accompanying
the path which leads to action;
and want during times that beg questions,
where something is up,
to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.

I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection,
never be blind or too old
to uphold your weighty wavering reflection.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;
for there I would be dishonest, untrue.
I want my conscience to be
true before you;
want to describe myself like a picture I observed
for a long time, one close up,
like a new word I learned and embraced,
like the everday jug,
like my mother's face,
like a ship that carried me along
through the deadliest storm.

Rainer Maria Rilke

A newbie

2004-11-08T16:17:00.000Z

Ok, I have created my blog...I chose a name, I chose a username and now I should start writing stuff on it, right?
I am quite happy with my blog´s name and url. It was not my first choice, but the name I wanted was no longer available.
Let´s see what I can do...maybe this will encourage me to develop my writing skills and to go to work in the morning! Haha!
I hope I can post interesting stuff here...
I will keep you posted.
Cheers!